I'm not quite too sure how to begin this, but it needs to be said so I'm just gonna write hoping I get the words right. I prepared a speech for after the show cause I didn't know about the video, but then everything fucked up and I forgot what I wanted to say, so instead I'm writing you something and I'm afraid is going to be quite long, sorry in advance.
I feel like I am the luckiest girl on earth right now, I don't have a perfect life and I'm far away from having one, but I have a life, and I always try to make the most of every day, even if -especially this year- there have been many times I just wanted to go home and cry.
Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be part of a performing arts group, create something and sing. God knows how hard I tried to make that happen, but I never got the opportunity to develop it in the right way so I always stood by my dancing and singing lessons once a week. Then school got in the way -we all know how much I complain about it- and I had to stop everything, go to school 6 days a week and go to work.
Finding the courage to ask my dad about being an exchange student wasn't easy, even if I was thinking about it since I was 12, but I'm so grateful he let me pack my clothes and let me leave for this adventure. It wasn't always easy, especially when I was by myself in my room at nights, but I'm glad I didn't give up on it because I turned into the best thing.
At first I was so tempted to drop performing arts because I saw how everyone loved each other and the energy of the group and I thought "I'm never gonna fit in". Just after a few weeks I realized how wrong I was. Everyone has been lovely with me, I felt part of the group in a way that made me feel like we have been together for years and I felt home. For once, I felt home.
I've had the time of my life with you guys, you were the best thing that could have happened to me.
It's not easy to go abroad at such a young age, by yourself, and it's difficult for us exchange students to make friends, most of the others still don't have any in school, but you made everything so easy, from having people to hang out with during frees to sing songs just for the fun of it -which is something I haven't done in a long long time.
You don't see how complicated my life is as I always try my best to make you guys be happy and don't worry about me, cause I know you would, and that's why this year has been so amazing for me. I'm not going to tell you about it, cause it would be too boring and it's not really important, but I want you to know the impact you had in my life.
I have developed friendships with you all, some deeper than others, but every single one of you made my year absolutely amazing, so I wrote something on everyone, but the letter will continue after this bit.
Emily and Dan, you can't understand how much I'm gonna miss you two. I am so grateful you are part of my life, we have always been there for each other and I am so happy I got the opportunity to meet you. You both are amazing. Em, I so wish I could have your voice, it's so nice; Dan, you're are the sassiest person I've ever met, thanks for making me become sassy too. Thanks for all the times you gave me support, I hope I have been a good friend. Thanks for introducing me to your weird food, to your families and welcoming me in your houses, I'm extremely grateful. I want you both to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter where we are in the world.
Charlotte, Rachael and Owen, you are so crazy! I never got the opportunity to hang out with someone like you in my life, and I am so happy that you shared a little bit of that with me too (I am actually quite worried what my parents will think when I go home). You are really close, so at first I was intimidated by you - a lot- that's why I'm glad I got the opportunity to know you and understand how nice you are. Owen, you are the nicest guy I've ever met, always be like that; Rachael, as you said "don't forget our craziness" thanks for making me discover Twisted as well, best thing on YouTube ever; Charlotte, you are the loudest person ever, but that's what makes you so special plus you're a really good dancer, it has been a pleasure dancing with you. I will miss our film studies lessons, be sure to make some cool films next year and share them with me so I can see them! I hope I haven't been to much of a pain.
Mel, I am so grateful to have you as a friend. You have been absolutely amazing the whole year, even when I cried because no one talked to me (remember? Haha). You have be close to me the whole year and I'm grateful I had you, I would have been completely lost some times without you. We didn't go to a concert together yet, another reason why we need to see each other again at some point, we really have to go.
Tiff and Jess, we've had our ups and downs, but I'm so grateful you were part of my year. It has been a pleasure to have met you. Jess, something I will never forget is you laughing, at times you would just burst out laughing for no reason, and I loved that. Tiff, you can be a really nice friend and even with our ups and downs I know that we are good friends and I'm thankful for that.
Emma, Jayde and Katie, the PA group wouldn't be the same without you. Katie, you are really good at acting, the alien play for Musa was so good! Emma and Jayde, we never spoke much, but you are such lovely girls, you're always smiling and have been really nice to me the whole year and I am so glad I met you.
Shane, Becks and Amy, I was not expecting us to become friends at all. Never in a million years I would have thought we would actually go to Alton towers together. It was absolutely amazing dancing with you in Back to the 80s too. Amy, I just love the fact that you're always smiling and happy, it puts me in a good mood too. Becks, you are so talented and nice! At first you were really intimidating, I'm glad I got you know you, you really are an amazing person to be around with. Shane, I have no words for you, cause you know, it's you we're talking about, but you're a weird weird guy, it's so funny to be around you. Thanks for inviting me to the after party, by the way. Also, thanks you you I can say that I know some of the names that will be in the back of the year 13 hoodie that I got, I'll be sure to highlight them. And I hope I'm gonna see you at the next school show in the audience, cause if there's gonna be one I'll be going to see it too.
Also, thank to miss Guy and Mr Musa for letting me having the best time and thanks to James for being the best technician.
Thanks for making that video for me. I really though that you lot were talking bad about me for a couple of weeks because every time I walked in everyone would stop taking and I cried just at the thought of it. I'm sorry for being a bitch at times -especially with the showcase stuff- I am truly sorry but I just wanted to get everything done and make it look good.
Keep on being you and doing such such an amazing job in the PA department. Please please please get Miss Guy to make a show next year and let me know when it will be so I can book the plane to come and see you.
I have so much to say, but this is so long already and I don't want to make you more bored than you probably already are so I'll be quick now. Please don't get me out of the PA group chat, so we can be in touch and I won't miss out on the drama that we always create and I can complain with you about how different my life is in Italy without you -cause we all know I don't have friends in Italy.
Thanks for making me become a better person, I used to be so different last summer and now I'm a new person.
If I could stay, I would. If I could bring you all in Italy with me, I would (and you'd be happy to eat my mums food).
You have been an amazing family for me, you cheered me up when I was down, made me laugh, sang songs to me and made me feel good about myself even if I don't feel like I am a nice person.
I will never ever forget you, come to Italy if you can, so I can make you try some good pasta and we can go eat some pizza (and arancini for Owen).
I want to close this letter with a line from a song that I adore of the Jackson 5:
"just call my name, and I'll be there"
Always here, whether it will be in the PA block or through the Internet. Mr. Straw today told me he really does think I found some friends that I will always have by my side my whole life and you know what? I agree.
God I'm gonna miss you.
I love you all immensely.
Ps. Pretty sure I forgot to say something, oh well.
Pps. didnt check grammatics, sorry hahah